Texas A&M Welcome to SEC Video Reeks of Desperation

Texas A&M president icing on cake for crappy SEC video. A subtitle could also read "Colonel Mustard, did it with the pipe, in the recreation room."

Texas A&M loves the SEC.  They love the SEC so much, and hate Texas so much, that they left the Big-12 for it.

But this, this has gone too far.

The Aggies released a video a couple days ago showing their support for every other team in the SEC.  It is as horrific as it is embarrassing.  First, have some respect for yourselves.  Seriously, if Colorado joined the conference and made a video like this and said “Go Ducks!” I would be furious.  You’re not making friends A&M, you’re making enemies.

[Update: Texas A&M obviously wanted to cover this whole thing up and took the video off so this parody video is all that's left.] /single tear

The only way the Aggies can justify becoming the laughingstock of college football for a week is if this was some sort of jedi mind trick where they are simply being nice before the team shows up at games and kicks the crap out of the underestimating opponent.  But that’s a stretch and too villainous for anyone wearing a bow tie.

The first two start off really strong with a textbook gator chomp followed by a Mississippi State cowbell.  Then you have Vanderbilt with their “anchor down” but then it is all downhill from there.

I’m sure all the Arkansas fans cringed a little seeing this guy with a Texas A&M shirt just give a half-assed “pig sooey.”

Then comes the scary part.  There is someone barking at me and she is waving something that is not there.  Seriously, get her a pom-pom or something.

The South Carolina Gamecocks spokeswomen I don’t think could be any less excited about yelling “Go Cocks!”

Then the Ole Miss cheer with “Hotty Toddy” was awful.  Dude just has a huge grin on his face.  Sucking all the passion from the cheer.

Roll Tide!  Ugh, that one as awful.  She doesn’t even look like she’s in college to begin with.

Geaux Tigers!  Devoid of all passion.  Almost menacing.  I’m surprised she didn’t say “Tiger Bait.  Tiger Bait” at the end because Georgia’s section along with Vanderbilt’s is by far the longest.

Mizzou’s was decent.  No complaints.

But then Kentucky’s comes up.  Holy God.  First, you’re a guy, with facial stickers.  Figure it out.  Secondly, Kentucky doesn’t have something to fall back on like Roll Tide?  Hard to believe.  Then he just rattles off a ton of words and totally ruins the tempo.

I’m just going to clump War Eagle and the Tennessee Vols together as both are just empty vessels at this point.  Just words being said to an audience.  These last two phrases really gives off the feeling of this whole presentation, fear.  Like someone thinking if they are nice to the other person they won’t be that mean to run the score up by 52 points.  You see this sometime in boxing when someone gets close to the fight day and is giving interviews after he realizes that he has no chance.  “Maybe if I’m nicer he won’t knock me out, just get a win on points.”  It just looks sad.

This is the best part, to show how southern ya’ll Texas A&M is and to fit in the SEC the president says “Howdy.”  Nice job, especially with the bow tie, which is a SEC staple among fans who get dressed up for games.  Then to finish it up after a composed delivery of saying they’re happy to be in the SEC he talks fifteen seconds worth of trash in three seconds.  Perhaps in the future to say he talked trash without people easily catching on, like disclaimers at the end of Viagra commercials that say you’ll go blind.

Lastly, the bloopers section, to make the people who just gave up part of their souls look like full-blown people again.

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