Trail Blazers, Claws, and Fangs

Basically I want to go into the Blazer’s locker room and tell them this:

Look, you’re like this bear with big claws, big fangs. Big fucking teeth. And the playoffs, they’re like this little bunny, cowering in the corner. And you’re staring at these claws and you’re thinking to yourself “How am I supposed to kill this bunny?” With these claws, and you don’t know how to kill the bunny! Yeah, you’re not hurting it. You’re just kind of batting this bunny around, just playing with it. And the bunny is scared of you, the bunny is scared. You got these big fucking claws and fangs! And You’re looking at your claws, and you’re looking at your fangs, and you’re thinking to yourself “How am I supposed to kill this bunny!?!” You’re thinking “I don’t know what to do man.” With these fangs you don’t know how to kill the bunny!!

Now when you go out there, I don’t want you to be like the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone really hopes make it. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie you know? The guy we’re not quite sure if we like yet. The one we’re not quite sure where he is coming from.

The Blazers have an All Star power Forward, in Lamracus Aldridge; a 2010 All Star, in Gerald Wallalce; 2010 6th man of the year, in Jamal Crawford; 2007 defensive player of the year, in Marcus Camby; and finally a coach voted one of the best in the league. This team has the claws, they have the fangs; they just need to learn how to kill the bunny.


The kind of pep talk the Blazers need.

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About Trent Walker

When he's not taking trips to Las Vegas, where Trent met Rusty Ryan, you can normally find him at The Dresden getting digits from beautiful babies. Industry standard is two days, but he likes to wait six before before calling. He doesn't have to be liked by everybody, he doesn't like some people, and some people don't like him. Once he made even the camera man cry with his audition for the role of "brother." His name is Trent Walker, but you can call him "Double Down."